Anyone who has ever browsed the magazine racks at the grocery store has noticed, women’s magazines give a lot of advice about how to please men in bed. Although they are meant to give guidance about what turns men on, most of these articles are actually written by women.
The plethora of opinions on male preferences about sex isn’t just limited to women’s magazines.
A little more than a month ago, Alex Dibranco published “The Student Sex Column Movement” in “The Nation” in which she highlighted the fact that the majority of college sex columnists are also female.
As a college female writing about sex, I can be considered a part of this statistic. Even so, I find that this female monopoly of campus sex writing seems a bit unfair. With no intention to discredit the women who are paving the way for cutting-edge dialogues about topics of sexuality, I think it is high time that we give the space on this platform to men.
Last week, a friend of mine told me about the frustrations of trying to find “real-world” advice for giving “great” oral sex to her boyfriend. When she read through “Cosmopolitan,” it was the same old answers as we try to walk the delicate line of decency and political correctness.
I decided to help my friend, not by telling her my own techniques or the techniques that self-identified sexperts and sex researchers deem “the best,” or by sending her to watch hours of porn, but by asking some males for their own advice, in their own words.
The five tips documented below are from a variety of men who fall into different age groups, nationalities, political identities and orientations.
To give you a sense of the differences between all of these voices, one self-identifies as a “man slut,” while another wrote me the following disclaimer to his submission: “I have never had oral sex. Yes I’m one of those ‘prudes’ who are ‘waiting for marriage.’”
Hopefully this array of voices can help appease those in need of blunt answers to the question of “how to give great oral to a man.”
5. “It’s been said to the point it is a cliché, but the mind is the most important sex organ. Act like you are really into this and want it.”
4. “By all means necessary, don’t forget the balls. I don’t care if she’s more into holding them, caressing them or actually licking them as long as she doesn’t forget about them.”
3. “The girls I’ve been with have varied from being able to give deep throat and just licking the tip, but it’s really that in between feeling that is best. Feeling the back of someone’s throat bang against the tip of my [penis] really doesn’t turn me on any more than when a girl concentrates so much on the tip that it makes my [penis] sore. The best [oral sex], for me, is when there is steady movement and her mouth is warm, wet and generally just feels like a vagina. Eye contact during oral is a big turn on too.”
2. “Having a routine technique and time for oral makes it less fun, in my opinion. I like it when I don’t know it’s coming, like in the middle of sex, after penetration ... or some other spur-of-the moment opportunity. The rush of getting the [oral sex] is not the biggest [turn on of oral sex], but it is up there.”
1. “Honestly ... everyone says ‘every guy is different,’ and there is probably some merit in that. But I think that standard-issue “good [oral sex]” is based just as much on how excited [the giver] is as it is on the techniques used. There are basic things to avoid like dry mouth, too much teeth and rubbing the tip raw, but other than that, lots of the excitement comes from [seeing someone] willingly and enjoyably caress my [penis] with something as [intimate] as a mouth.”
If you would like to join the dialogue and have your voice heard in an upcoming Hump Day column, please send your comments and/or questions to: lifeandarts@dailytexanonline.com
this is in no way "news."