Q: How long does sex take, on average?
A: As a sex educator, guys ask me all the time how long they should try to last during sex. Magazines like Maxim, Men's Health, FHM and the like print article after article with headlines that promise, "10 Ways to Last Longer in Bed!" and advertisements for products designed to "increase endurance," as though the key to pleasing a partner is merely having sex longer. Right.
In a survey of sex therapists conducted by researchers at Penn State, sexual intercourse lasting from three to seven minutes was considered "adequate," seven to 13 minutes was "desirable" and 10 to 30 minutes was "too long."
If both partners are warmed up, 10 minutes is plenty of time. Don't believe me? Look at the clock the next time you're having sex, and time yourself. I've spoken in front of an audience for 10 minutes and believe me - it's over in a flash.
Sex lasts "long enough" when both partners are satisfied. Sometimes that means both people have an orgasm, but not always. And "long enough" can be 3 minutes for some people and 45 minutes for others. Contrary to popular belief, women do not universally need "more time" to have an orgasm. Seventy percent of women do not have orgasms from intercourse alone.
The best way to make sure you're pleasing your partner is to ask them what they want - and then do it to them. But don't forget that there's more to sex than the in-and-out; there's foreplay, cool down and - everyone's favorite - spooning.
If you do want to prolong sex, make sure to always wear a condom. Putting that thin piece of latex between you and your partner not only protects against pregnancy and disease but can also help the guy last longer. But do not - I repeat: do not - use a "climax control" condom. Those things contain a numbing agent normally used for dental work.
Have a sex question? Contact Guli Fager, the health education coordinator at University Health Services, at g.fager@uhs.utexas.edu.
